Every once and a while you meet someone that has a dream. It reminds me of what it was like so many years ago when I fist started on this journey to become a CRNA. For some it comes easy and seems so natural as if all of the currents and winds place someone one the beach without any apparent effort. For me it has been so long and difficult a struggle to become a something more than what I was. Part of it is becoming a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist and the rest of it has been a journey of self discovery.
Meeting Dawn is a reminder of this and here is her letter to the NurseAnesthetist.Org blog:
Great post even though that probably makes me a nerd. A good example of how we can overlook the little things. Glad to hear all was well. Great timing with the CRNA in with you, Murphy’s law.
I’m probably borderline OCD with lists and checks and rechecks so I am hoping that will serve me well in the future.
I really got to thinking the other day after posting here about what made me chose the anesthesia field. I’m sure that it has a lot to do with the fact that the very first time that I had general anesthesia, I had somewhat of a partial awakening (for lack of knowing what else to call it). I’ll have to write a post on my blog about that sometime.
It was many years ago ( 8-9 years), I went under general for a tubiligation and awoke in the recovery room (I’m assuming that’s where I was). I awoke mentally but was still physically paralyzed with intubation going. I was screaming in my head but nothing was coming out.
When I fully came to, I told the nurses about my experience and they looked at me like I had lost my mind. In fact, I questioned numerous Dr’s about it and each time I was met with the same aloof attitude and got the feeling that I really was crazy or it was something that just wasn’t discussed. This was before the shows on the Discovery Health network.
This experience stayed with me for a long time, I had nightmares about it and was terrified of ever having another surgery. Later, prior to another surgery a few years later, I questioned the anesthesiologist about my experience. She told me that I wasn’t crazy and those things do occasionally happen. She was very reassuring and told me that I had received too much paralytic and not enough amnesiac inducing medication or that my body had metabolized the paralytic at a slower rate. That was the day that I learned what a CRNA was, she was not an anesthesiologist after all but she had taken the most time with me and explained to me what had happened and made me feel at ease. I never again had a nightmare about my experience. I guess it was the unknown that had me so terrified but once I knew that there was a medical explanation I didn’t feel the need to fear it any longer.
Wow, Sorry to take up so much room on your comments there David. Feel free to wipe it out once you’ve read it.
Take care,
Dawn
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Thanks David. I’m flattered.
Dawn
Good luck in your studies. Always keep the dream alive.
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